I am going to die. My head is so horrible. i cant stop living nightmares in my head. It is like hell is loss on me, and it wont leave me alone. An infestation of my mind, were the bugs are never fully killed. There is no real way to describe this. but it is hell... i don't care what anyone says, this is hell...

And then... nothing works, everything falls through, everything is my fault. I act with no reaction. i am the acception to the law of every action has a equal and oppiste reaction. there is no reaction for me, it is just meatless bone, bear with no fruits of labor of anykind.

I cant cry, not because i choose not to. i jsut cant. Crying is strength, showing you are in tune with your emotions, that you have the power of knowledge. I cant cry, because it is so overwhelming i could never stop crying.

Im just so scared. i am terrified in more then every aspect of the word. I am more terrifed then a kid trapped in a corrner.

And i can not open my soul to the ONE who puts my mind at ease, because i am so scared, scared of what she will think, scared of how she will see me... but most of all, im scared on what i will do.

So much rage i have, always ready to burst, but i can not let it. I can never let it out, I am strong, and i can hurt those around me, with ease, I dont want to hurt.

Someone help me... i call to someone to help, me, but that someone is me. and i cant hear my self screaming over my own yelling.